Sunday, April 12, 2009

Prairie Dog Relocation Site

I think I've got an answer to the prairie dog problem.

Think about it. Last year there was a huge hue and cry and to pull funding from the ice rink. People said 'we have plenty of recreation' and 'who needs it?' not to mention 'screw em' and 'who cares!'

Well, in light of those sentiments and taking full advantage of cultural relativity, I offer this location to relocate the prairie dogs:

http://tinyurl.com/CompleteWithHoles

Seriously. I mean, it's a win-win-win all around:
  1. No more wasted city funds on 'excess recreation budget'
  2. Huge water savings on grass watering so we can skip the expansion (inundation) at Union Reservoir (bonus!)
  3. Retired ball-washing equipment can serve other purposes
  4. Tee markers are ready-made sunning/lookout stations
  5. Greens/holes premium living spaces will help breed a more socially-acceptable prarie dog (although still not allowed to vote)
  6. Over-pampered neighborhood cats will learn some humilty after a few run-ins
  7. Neighborhood chihuahuas will be routinely heartbroken/jilted (hopefully calming them somewhat)
  8. One riding mower can be retired (or used full-time to patrol for terrorists)
  9. Surrounding neighbors will finally learn some new gestures and perhaps make a friend
  10. Downhill neighbors will begin sitting on their decks again or at least quit cringing when they hear 'FORE!'
OR...

We could turn it into a landing strip.

Might be a smidge tight for some pilots, but I'm certain Longmont's "Top Guns" could easily drop right into that. Not to mention, folks in the neighborhood could parachute home from work. Wouldn't that be romantic?

*WHOOSH*THUD!*

"Hi Honey! I'm home!"

*THUD*THUD* I brought some friends!" (typical guy)

"Where's Joe?"

"AAAAIIIGGGHHHHH!!!!!CRASH"

"Good old Joe, always late"

We have SO many options here.

Let's get creative people.

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