Wednesday, February 25, 2009

Union Colony, Forge of the Moral Compass

For a town that was originally founded as an:
"...experimental utopian community of high moral standards"
Greeley (as the town was renamed later in a desperate bid for relevance... that never came) has definitely made a strong showing in the War on Gayness, heroic plaid-wearin lumberjack types that they are.

With an elected representative like Scott Renfroe, the town has all but stood up en masse and spat on the GLBTA community in Colorado. What moral courage. What intensity. What a desperate, burning need for laxatives.

Renfroe, his eyes slitted from spending too much time staring into the sun, corners of his mouth turned down permanently from frowning on others (or perhaps excessive use of depressants), likened being gay to 'murder' and burbled out a string of Leviticus passages as he alternately barked and meowed about his soon-to-be-doomed bill.

Well, of course Caplis wanted him on the air, hoping to feel him humping his leg in that oh-so-amusing way but the 'Scotty Dog' wouldn't come to heel - no show.

I think Scotty Dog's misunderstood, he just wants to protect my marriage from those hordes of paisley-wearing designers dead-set on turning us all gay.

If only he'd look at Longmont's Lunatic Fringe, he'd realize it's far too late...

Beret-tip to the delightful chappies at SquareState.

Don't forget to send Scotty Dog some love and join the Facebook page that's been designed to help him get in touch with his inner sinner.
------
UPDATE - Feb 25, 10:20pm (HI BOB!!!!!!)

Now Renfroe is apologizing.

"You're a murderer" --beat-- "Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it!"

Scotty, Scotty... nice try.

Guys... measure twice, cut once. Think, then speak.

Or don't. That works too.

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