Monday, January 5, 2009

Another voice heard from

I used to think the rather vociferous tone of the attacks on Musgrave was a sort of vendetta peculiar to "Muskrat Hunt." However, I recently ran across, in the 1 January issue of Boulder Weekly, a piece in the column called "ICUMI (In Case You Missed It)" entitled "Musgrave puts the 'good' in 'goodbye.' " Since I'm not very confident of my adeptness at linking, I will (as Doogmaster often does) quote it in its entirety, in case my link doesn't work:
When Colorado voters elected Betsy Markey this fall to represent our 4th district, there was reason to celebrate. Regardless of how you feel about Markey's politics, the fact of the matter is that she beat out Marilyn Musgrave, an entrenched Republican incumbent and a completely diabolical bitch.

We weren't sure if her reign of ├╝ber-rightwing psychosis was ever going to come to an end. But after five years of gay-bashing, prohibition, and crusades against women's rights, we can finally wave goodbye--but not without a swansong!

To help Ms Musgrave readjust to life outside the House, has decided to bestow a new award upon her. The progressive website has donned Musgrave as one of the top 5 Villains and Villainesses of 2008 for her staunch attempts to ban gay marriage and disallow adoption rights for same-sex couples. We also heard that she likes to spend her weekends torturing baby songbirds and has been known to refer to Third World children as "good eatin'."

And while that’s as good of a reason as any to give Musgrave a new title, we here at Boulder Weekly would like to point out a few other honors she has garnered, so that we all have something to remember her by:

—The Mike Tyson Group for Putting Females in Their Place (honorary member), for her work in suppressing the rights of women on a local and national level.

—Lifetime Member of the Order of Facts Are For Suckers, for her efforts in supporting creationism and fundamentalist beliefs.

—Official endorsement by the Ku Klux Klan. (For real—look it up. Of course, politicians can’t control endorsements, but, honestly, if the crazy dudes in the white masks start giving you the thumbs up, maybe it's time to rethink your policies.)

—President of the League of People-Who-Aren't-Like-Me-Are-Probably-Evil, for her lifetime achievements in homophobia and xenophobia and probably just about any other word you can think of that ends with phobia.

Now that Musgrave has finally been booted out of the office, we assume she’s hunting for a new job, so we decided to peruse the classifieds and see if anything appropriate popped up.

Currently, the Land of Oz is looking for a new Wicked Witch of the West. Musgrave would have to paint her skin green, but that seems a small price to pay for an opportunity to frighten little children and puppies. If that doesn’t strike her fancy, perhaps she could take over for Darth Vader as vice president of the Empire. That one comes with a great dental plan. Or maybe she could sit in for Satan while he’s on vacation. You know what they say: Better to rule in Hell than serve in Congress.

Nicely put, by a notoriously disreputable progressive commie rag which I love--my only news source besides The Onion. It's good to know someone outside Muskrat Hunt thinks the Wicked Bitch of Larimer-Weld amply deserves everything that's been said about her.


Kaye Fissinger said...

Time to move on. ;-)

Doogman said...

(In heavy French accent) NEHVAHR!!!!! (giggle). Tony, I was just part of an ever-growing anti-fan club... which, at the end, including members of the GOP in Weld County - LOTS of members of the GOP in Weld County. The Muskrat horked for distance and broke all records when it came to revolting the voters. Hard to do, but she did. For pete's sake, the women refused to make female circumcision illegal - check her voting record. I mean, WTF. Eventually she managed to disgust even staunch supporters.